Ittai the Gittite

 “Go back and stay with King Absalom. You are a
foreigner, an exile from your homeland.           2 Sam 15:19

Ittai the Gittite was a Philistine who had taken his men and followed David to Jerusalem.
David told him to remain in the city and be loyal to the new king while David
was fleeing from the city.

David felt he had no right to ask the Philistine to follow him and to wander in the
wilderness, since Ittai was an alien who wasn’t supposed to be loyal to him.

“How can I ask a foreigner to be loyal to me while my own son is plotting to overthrow
me?” he asked himself.

It’s easy to imagine how David must have been feeling at this time of great distress. By
leaving the city of Jerusalem, he practically declared to the world that he was
giving up his throne. Thus, he changed from a man with all entitlement into a
man without any rights. He turned into man who was running for his life.

“A stiff blade of grass stands strong under a strong wind; and a faithful subject is
known during a time of crisis (疾風知勁草; 版蕩識貞臣.)” During this time
of great danger and uncertainty, Ittai’s faithfulness to his master was tested.

The man had every right to remain in Jerusalem and change his allegiance to the new king,
who clearly had the upper hand at the time. Had Ittai been more worldly-wise,
he would have chosen to do what was the best for himself and his family and no
one would have blamed him for that.

Who could have blamed Ittai for making the most expedient decision?

No one would have blamed Ittai except Ittai himself. There were obviously many good reasons
why Ittai decided to leave his hometown and to follow David to a strange land.
The reasons must have been quite compelling for a man to do that. He might have
found in David a man worthy of his trust; or he might have found in the Lord a
God worthy of his worship. For one reason or another, he arrived at the city of
David and he remained loyal to David, even though he was about to lose his
throne and his power, which goes to show that Ittai was following David the
man, not David the king.

Ittai’s decision to follow him into the wilderness must have brought David great
consolation during a time of utter desolation. Being a man of powerful emotions,
David might have been seduced by the dark force and become depressed and
bitter, thinking that the entire world was turning against him. Yet in this
Philistine man David seemed to see a glimpse of hope and was able to face the
new challenge with renewed courage.

Who is our Ittai when we experience the dark night of our soul?

Praise the Lord there was Ruth’s presence and comforting words that brought hope to an
otherwise hopeless Naomi, who had suffered unimaginable loss in a foreign land.
Didn’t Ittai’s words to David remind us of what Ruth had uttered to her
mother-in-law when she urged her to remain in her homeland?   

Departure

“So the king set out, with all the
people following him, and they halted at the edge of the city.”          2 Sam 15:17

It was the place he loved dearly, yet David had to leave her behind. He could have stayed
in the city and fought to the death, but he chose to escape, for he decided not
to turn his beloved city into a killing field.

David and his men halted briefly at the edge of the city, which gave the king time to reflect
on what was happening.

He could hardly believe what was taking place. How could he? Just a few days earlier he
was sitting on the throne, thinking that things were going so well, not knowing
that trouble was brewing. The situation with the Philistines was pretty much
under control and, after a long struggle with the heathens, David and his men
were able to take a breather from war. Yet, an internal strife was about to
break out.

“Think about danger when you are at ease (居安思危,)”
goes a Chinese saying. I don’t think David was overly concerned about what was
going on within his own household at the time. In fact, Absalom was gradually
becoming David’s pride and joy and it had never entered David’s mind that his
beloved son would rebel against him.

David indeed was being a little naïve. Even though he had been ruling over Israel for some time
now, the king had yet to master the art of scheming and politicking within his
own court. He had no idea that someone closest to him was about to stab him in
the back.

Yet the inevitable happened.

Many times he had set out from the city with every intention to return, but this time was
different. David must have had apprehension in his heart as he was looking at
the city of David for perhaps the last time, which might have brought tears to
his eyes.

He remembered the day he entered into the city and assumed the kingship over entire Israel. O
what a joyful day that was! With all his wives and children by his side, with
the heavy crown on his head, he stepped up to the throne and pronounced
blessing on all his subjects, who shouted in union: “Long live the king!”

O how he loved the city that sat on a hill with all her splendor and beauty! How could
he forget the day when he welcomed the ark of the Lord into the city with
dancing and singing? The memory was as fresh in his mind as if it had only taken
place days ago, and the thought of leaving the ark behind was painful beyond
belief.

“So the king set out, with all the people following him, and they halted at the edge of the
city.” 

So they halted for a brief moment for the king and his men to bid farewell to the city,
to reflect on what was happening to them, and perhaps say a quick prayer for
the city they loved and the homes they treasured.

MTS-3265

The Conspiracy

“And so the conspiracy gained strength,
and Absalom’s following kept on increasing.”            2 Sam 15:12

Absalom told David that he was going to Hebron to worship the Lord, but he was in fact going
to start a conspiracy to overturn his father and drive him from the city. He
took two hundred people with him and no one knew what he was intending to do
until the news broke out in Hebron. 

Some of the two hundred guests who accompanied Absalom to Hebron might not have wanted to participate in the
conspiracy, but Absalom left them with absolutely no choice. They were stranded
in the city and their lives would have been in jeopardy had they decided to
remain loyal to the king.

King David hadn’t really envisioned this coming at all. He was doing his best governing the nation, and
the country was in pretty good shape at the time. The Philistines were still
causing them some trouble, yet the country was relatively peaceful compared to
what they had experienced in the past. David might have been looking forward to
harvesting the benefits of his years of labor, not knowing there were enemies
from inside raising their ugly heads after he subdued the foes on the outside.

David wasn’t suspicious at all when his son requested that he be allowed to go to Hebron to fulfill the vow he
had made years ago when he was in exile. Absalom had been a pretty good son
after David took him back and became reconciled with him. David might have
considered what Absalom had done to promote himself was the chore a faithful
son did out of love for his father. David, being more of a man with an artistic
temperament than a man of schemes and calculation, seemed to have taken what
his son did in stride and saw no evil in all Absalom’s actions.

David could have been fooled by a father’s eagerness to trust his own beloved son.

Indeed Absalom had caused the death of David’s son Amnon, but time appeared to have healed the wound and
David’s affection for Absalom was increasing. How could a father not love such
an outstanding son? Absalom was tall and good looking and was universally
praised. Even Joab, the great general, thought highly of the man. David was in
fact quite proud of the boy, albeit he rarely mentioned it to anyone.

David was being naïve at this time, for he was quite pleased that Absalom was taking his vow to the Lord
seriously, not realizing that his son was taking the journey for an entirely
different purpose. No doubt the king had always taken his faith in God
seriously, and he must have desired all his children would follow suit.

It was too late when David found out what was taking place and the conspiracy continued to gain strength.
The snowball effect was rolling down the hill too fast to be halted and the
only thing David could do was get out of the way for a while until the dust
settled.       

MTS-3264

Stealing

“…and so he stole the hearts of the
people of Israel.”

              2 Sam 15:6

Absalom was merely a politician at this point and he was trying to win people’s hearts by
standing at the city gate and acting as a fair judge. In the process of doing
this, he also took the opportunity to badmouth his father the king for not
doing his job. By doing so, he was able to convince people gradually that he
would make a better king than his father.

This doesn’t mean that king David was doing a poor job governing the nation; Absalom had an
agenda doing what he was doing. In order to lift himself up, he had to put
someone who was higher than him down. One must pick a fight against a great man
to prove that he is his equal. That was exactly what Absalom was doing.

What Absalom desired was the entitlement and trappings of a king, and he was just building
his reputation to reach that end. Absalom seemed to know how fickle people are
and he was able to steal their hearts from his father rather easily.

O how quickly they forgot the heroic acts David had performed on their behalf. It was so long
ago when David took down the seemingly invincible Goliath and rescued the
nation from perdition. They must have forgotten the chanting by the ladies:
“David killed ten thousands…”

By this time David was likely occupied by many other things; he didn’t find time to attend
to the needs of some people and an undercurrent of grumbling was starting to
surface. When it did, Absalom was there to lend them a listening ear and was
able to win people’s hearts one by one. Slowly, he succeeded in building a
sizeable following among the people.

It must have been hard not to be impressed by the king’s son. He was handsome and eloquent
and people must have felt quite flattered when the prince lavished them with his
undivided attention. In the meantime, David was practically invisible at the
city gate, for there were more urgent things demanding his attention than
socializing with the hoi polloi with their petty complaints. 

One by one, Absalom was stealing votes from David and when the “election” was held in
Jerusalem, the son won by a landslide and the father had to flee.  

Had David been a little more vigilant in attending to people’s needs and paying more attention
to what he son was doing, things would have turned out entirely differently. He
didn’t put his foot down when Absalom was acting like a king by having chariots
running before him on the broad streets; and no one seemed to have alerted him
when his son was gathering people around himself. When the revolt broke out, he
had no option left but to flee from Jerusalem. 
   

MTS-3263

Forgiveness

“And the king kissed Absalom.”

               2 Sam 14:33

Years had passed before David decided to become reconciled with his son Absalom who was
responsible for his eldest son’s death. He could never bring Amnon back through
his grieving; but he could bring Absalom back to his life through forgiving.

What else could a father do except do what David did? He could have lost two sons in one
day had he chosen to harbor hatred for the murderer and lived the rest of his
life in bitterness.

It took a long time for David to process the whole thing, and he ultimately chose to do
what was pleasing in God’s sight. To forgive is a much better option than
anything else.

David’s forgiveness of his son, however, didn’t cause the murderer to genuinely repent
of what he had done. In fact, David’s reconciliation with Absalom emboldened
him to carry out his evil scheme in overturning his father’s kingdom.

Absalom wasn’t really seeking reconciliation with his father after he killed Amnon; he
was merely buying time until he could take decisive action to drive his father
away from Jerusalem.

It would have been much more difficult for David to forgive his son and to become reconciled
with him had he known what evil thing Absalom was intending to do.

Does that really matter? Our forgiveness should not be based on our adversary’s
performance, which is the reason why the Lord taught us to forgive seventy
times seven times.

Absalom was extremely untrustworthy; but he seemed to have his father fooled. Out of his
fatherly love for his son, David chose to love and to trust and, as a result,
he suffered yet another time and endured the pain of another son’s death.

Was this the price of forgiveness?

Our continual forgiveness of our foes is solidly grounded on God’s love, not on ours. The
outcome of our forgiveness may not be what we want it to be, but this should
never keep us from doing the right thing. We forgive for God’s sake, and for
ours as well.

Forgiveness is an act of obedience; therefore we will always have a sense of peace and joy
when we do so. Indeed David suffered pain by bringing Absalom home; it was
nonetheless a godly thing to do.

“And the king kissed Absalom.”

I still find this verse very moving, even though Absalom might not have deserved his
father’s affection. Being a loving father to all his children, David ultimately
chose to forgive and to love his wayward son and, all things considered, it was
still the best option.

MTS-3262

Tamar

“His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she
became a beautiful woman.”

               2 Sam 14:27

Absalom must have done all he could to protect and to care for his young sister whose bright
future was ruined by Amnon. He even went so far to avenge the crime by taking
the perpetrator’s life. Yet whatever he did couldn’t give a good name back to
Tamar and she remained a desolate woman the rest of her life.

Did Absalom find her sister a husband? This we will never know, but it is pretty likely that
Tamar stayed unmarried and lived with her brother until he died. That might
have been the reason why Absalom named his daughter after his sister.

“His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she became a beautiful woman.”

For some odd reason I find this verse quite moving.

There was no doubt that Absalom loved and adored his sister and would have done all he could
to protect her from any harm, and he took her home and sheltered her after the
harm was done. The man might have been ruthless and ambitious, but there was
still redeeming value in him. He truly loved his sister, which was no small
matter.

Had Tamar remained unmarried, she would have been totally unprotected and un-provided for,
which made Amnon’s crime so much more heinous. Not only did he take away the
woman’s virginity, he also robbed the girl’s hope of future happiness and
provision. Indeed, she was the king’s daughter and David would have done
something to improve the situation; however, it was the big brother who stepped
up to the plate and took Tamar home.

Being a single woman in her brother’s household wasn’t easy. In fact, it was very
difficult. But Absalom must have done a lot of things to ease the situation.
Tamar was free to do what she desired to do in the house; and she was also
welcome if she wanted to help with household chores. She might have even helped
raise her niece Tamar as if she were her own daughter, and took up the
responsibility of caring for her after Absalom died.

Obviously Tamar wasn’t left unattended, for she was still the princess and her father
should not have held what Absalom did against her. As far as we can tell, Tamar
wasn’t involved in her brother’s revolt in any way; but what her brother did
must have cast a dark shadow between Tamar and her father and we can only guess
what that incurred.

In Absalom’s death, Tamar lost the only man in her life and she must have become a more
miserable and desolate woman from then on. What could she have done to alter
the situation into which she was thrown? Not a whole lot, I suppose. Absalom
did have four children, including Tamar, and in them she might have found a
calling, assuming she remained single, which was very likely.   

MTS-3261

Perfection

“From the top of his head to the sole of
his foot there was no blemish in him.”

            2 Sam 14:25

Evidently Absalom thought highly of himself. He couldn’t help it, could he? He was a
prince with stunning good looks and he must have drawn a big crowd wherever he
went.

He thought highly of himself, since that was exactly how other people perceived him. His
self-perception was, in fact, a public perception. Absalom was well on his way
to becoming a great success. He indeed set a very lofty goal for himself - he
wanted to be king.

He couldn’t have aspired to be anything less than a king, even though he wasn’t first in
line to succeed his father. His outward perfection and inner arrogance must
have kept him from becoming nothing but a king.

It was a great insult when his sister was raped by Amnon, yet Absalom didn’t breathe a
word to his half-brother, either good or bad, for he had bigger fish to fry.

He might have jumped the gun a little bit by murdering his brother, for his intent was
probably to wipe all his brothers out and take over the throne at that time.
His scheme failed and he ended up escaping.

While he was in exile, he was still calculating day and night the way to overturn his
father. He was just too capable and too perfect to spend the rest of his life
as a fugitive. His self-perception was not hampered in any way by his lowly
position at the time

“Pastor Sea’s greatest strength as a minister is his humility,” a Christian brother said to
me over dinner.

I said nothing in reply, but I knew for sure that he mistook my inferiority complex as
a sign of humility. I have a tendency to belittle myself, either in my writing
or my speaking, which might have created in people an impression that I am a
humble servant of God, which isn’t the truth at all. Thinking lowly of oneself
isn’t a sign of humility; thinking highly of God is. Humility is a direct result
of rightly perceiving God and correctly viewing ourselves. 

Absalom had no fear of men, for he had no fear of God; he considered himself the greatest,
for he had a low view of the Creator. Unlike his father, who was a man after
God’s own heart, Absalom was a person after his own heart. His perception of
all things was colored by his own self-perception.

It really wasn’t an advantage for Absalom to be so perfect physically, because it might
have created in him a false self perception and caused him to become blind to
his many frailties as a man. It was no accident that he was hung by his own
thick glossy hair.  

MTS-3260

Appearance

“In all Israel there was not a man so
highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom.”         2 Sam 14:25

Are good looks a criterion by which the Lord chooses his servants? Saul was a head
taller than his peers and was very handsome. David was a nice looking man with
very good physique; so were most of his children. Now we meet another man in
Absalom who was highly praised for his handsome appearance, which causes us to
wonder: perhaps a handsome appearance is a necessary quality for one to become
a success.

A man’s appearance and status do carry some weight when he applies for job, according
to research, which goes to explain why I haven’t had a lot of good fortune in
my previous job hunts.

We don’t have a second chance to create a first impression, so goes a commercial slogan. But
for some of us, no matter how hard we work on it, the first impression we
impress on people isn’t going to be all that impressive. No wonder we are
always the second choice.

Are we God’s second choice merely because we don’t have a handsome appearance or a great
talent?

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the
outward appearance, but the Lord looks at
the heart,” we read in First Samuel.

Only the Lord is capable of seeing people’s hearts; we can only look at each other’s
appearance. Therefore we plain people do have a great disadvantage in dealing
with our fellow human beings. We can spend our entire life cultivating and
shaping our hearts, but our physical appearance will remain unchanged for the
most part.

Why work so hard on developing our inner beauty if it’s not going to be revealed?

Who do we try to impress ultimately? This is the question we must ask ourselves. Shallow
people are going to be impressed by skin-deep beauty; but people with great
depth can only be impressed by beauty that is unseen.

Surely Saul wasn’t chosen to be the anointed one because of his great handsomeness; and he
was forsaken because of his lack of some inner attributes which were essential
in serving the Lord. David was accepted by the Almighty, not for his good appearance,
but for a heart that was in tune with God’s own heart.

“His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.”
This was the impression some Corinthian Christians had concerning the apostle
Paul. Did Paul get a second chance to change that image?

He did get many more opportunities to change that impression through letters and personal encounter
with the Corinthians, but Paul’s primary goal was to impress God’s image on
their hearts, and he couldn’t have cared less about how people perceived him.

MTS-3259

Joab

“Then Joab went to Geshur and brought
Absalom back to Jerusalem.”

            2 Sam 14:23

Joab was Absalom’s advocate and he was also the one who took the trip to Geshur to bring
the exile back to Jerusalem. Why did the general go such a distance to vouch
for an outcast, the one who was responsible for his brother’s death?

Joab might have had personal affection for the young man, and he seemed to believe that
Absalom would have a bright future as a leader of Israel. The problem was that
he only saw the young man’s great potential, and failed to see his ambition.
Joab thought he was doing David a favor by bringing Absalom home, yet it turned
out to be the worst thing he could have done for David’s household and for the entire
nation.

Absalom had an agenda all along and his ultimate goal was his father’s throne. Even while
he was an exile, he had never wavered in his goal to become the king of Israel.
He was a man of great ambition and strong determination.

How did this escape Joab’s attention?

Being a career military man, Joab somehow let his personal affection get the better of him. He
believed Absalom could be groomed into a great military man, for the man was
such a specimen of a perfect soldier with an impressive physique. How could any
military leader help not liking a man with such great potential for military
success?

Joab might have been considering his future as a leader in Israel as well, because of all
David’s sons, Absalom was the only one he deemed suited to be the future king.
He believed he was placing himself on the good side of the future monarch by
bringing the young man back.

All this, of course, is speculative.

We know David was pretty reluctant to bring his wayward son home, albeit he had every
intention to do so eventually. All he needed was a nudge in the back from
someone, and Joab was perfectly willing to do just that, not realizing the
serious consequences the action would generate.

Joab was being naïve.

He might have thought a few years of exile would have rehabbed Absalom and changed the
criminal into a good citizen, yet nothing was farther from the truth. Absalom
might have become even more resolved to achieve his goal after his banishment.
Whatever love he had for his father was gone after a long period of separation
and he wouldn’t blink an eye if he had to take out his father to reach his
goal.

Joab’s good intentions became disastrous.

Was this the reason why Joab couldn’t wait to spear Absalom when he had the chance, not wanting
to be fooled again?

MTS-3258

Banishment

“But that is not what God desires;
rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from
him.”    2 Sam 14:14

It would have been quite a predicament for David had Absalom remained in Jerusalem after he committed
the crime of murder. Even though he hadn’t killed his brother himself, he was
directed responsible for Amnon’s death. What kind of punishment would Absalom
receive for his evil act? That was something David would have to determine.

Fortunately David did not have to make such a difficult decision, for Absalom escaped.

Banishment was probably the best outcome for Absalom, because he could have been killed
for his crime. As time went by, the wound he inflicted on people was beginning
to heal, which made it possible for him to return to Jerusalem without being
punished further.

The Almighty “devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him,” the
woman said to David, trying to convince the king to pardon his son and to bring
him back. Obviously David had every intention to bring his son home, but he
might have had other concerns. What would people think if he allowed his son to
come home and not bring him to justice? To be reconciled with his son was his
desire, yet justice must be served before reconciliation could take place.

The Lord actually devised a way for us to be reconciled with him and not to be banished
from his sight forever, which is the way of the cross.

It’s a banishment of which most of us are not aware. We are hardly conscious of the
crimes we have committed; therefore the punishment we are enduring does not
feel like punishment at all. Absalom could have remained in Geseur the rest of
his life and done just fine. He might have had occasional homesickness for
home, but it wasn’t something with which he couldn’t cope. He had learned the
key to happiness and made the necessary adjustment to his life of banishment,
which wasn’t all that bad after all.

Are we leading the life of an exile?

A banished person who is aware of his banishment does not build a cozy house as if he were
going to reside in a foreign land forever. No matter how comfortable and secure
he feels in the land of banishment, a sense of restlessness often gnaws at his
heart and a numbing sorrow never fails to visit him at the most importunate
moment. Deep inside, he feels like a stranger in a strange land.

The punishment he might face in Jerusalem didn’t deter Absalom from taking the
first opportunity to go home. It was the chance he was willing to take to once
again live among the people he knew and loved and to be engulfed by the sights
and sounds he had come to love so much. He knew quite well that he was banished
and returning home was his greatest yearning.